ATE A BUG TACO- JUST ANOTHER DAY IN NEW YORK. I just came to the Mid Manhattan Library, which, like many unemployed people these days, I sometimes use as office space. Free, slow internet, dodgy public toilets, and a clientele that makes the Mos Eisley Spaceport look like a line-up of the von Trapp family.
Outside the guarded door (now that Bin Laden is dead, can we stop the farce of opening my bags? The guards don’t even bother to look) there’s a Dos Equis truck doing a promotion- “Feast of the Brave”- giving away free tacos, with a catch- the flavors are ostrich, cow tongue, veal brain, and my choice, cricket!
Yes, we’re talking real bugs, fried up with spices, generously sprinkled on a taco. I’ve actually had one before- at Toloache in the theater district. Theirs was gamey. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t want another.
This one was delicious! I didn’t even have to pretend I was eating something else, or be careful not to feel the thoraxes or little legs with my tongue. I’d eat a whole plate of them.
“But John,” says you, “you’re a VEGETARIAN!” That’s true, but like it or not, we all eat bugs. They’re in the crops most of our food is made of, and the machines that process that food. It’s their planet, really. Yeah, some of them gross me out as much as anyone, but I’ve always been curious about eating bugs. For living beings, they’re the closest thing to mindless automatons, which is what’s made the whole hive thing work so well for them for so many millions of years.
There’s a Twitter and Facebook thing for the Dos Equis event, and they took my picture eating the taco, but I’m not “liking” their things. Enough free advertising for them, and I don’t drink beer. I’d much rather eat a bug